Many do not realize how important it is to let the past be just that… The Past. Sure all the things in your life up to today have helped to mold who you are but nothing defines you other than who you choose to be on a daily basis. Do not get wrapped up into what once was or you will never know, see, or appreciate the happiness that could be today and the beautiful future you could be working towards tomorrow.
Yes, of course each and every one has a past. Some may be described as ‘happy’ and ‘safe’ while others may be described as “painful” and “sad”. The point is although you may have a past, you don’t have to let it define your future.
“Every Saint has a past and every sinner has a future”
Do you ever wonder why things happen and play out the way they do? Do you believe in religion, faith, or destiny? In your eyes are our lives predetermined and we are just basically living out our role like in a movie, or do you just think you were given more than you can handle and that life is just unfair for you? Whatever it is you believe, forget it, take a deep breathe, and learn to let go because the past is where it should be. For the most part it should not be welcome in your present and certainly not your future.
Once you are free of the past, whether it is a secret that you finally got off your heart, or something you did bad that you have been punishing yourself for years over, LET IT GO… You have been given the gift of free will and with that you have the choice to determine what you will do with your life. No where is it written that you must repeat the ugly, sad and tortuous past over and over. You have the choice and are the author of our life so do not let anyone else hold the pen.
Having said that, if it is a choice, and we have control over it, why choose the past? Embrace the opportunity to start over with a clean slate. It is never, ever too late. However, one of the most important things you must do is look deep into the mirror and love the person staring back at you. It begins with YOU!
Letting go of your past is difficult but here are some tips:
1. Acknowledge it & Commit to letting go. We tend to approach emotional pain by ignoring or not facing it, but suppressing hurt only makes us hurt more. It eats us up inside until small problems become big problems. The hurt you avoid now becomes a chronic pain down the road. So unpack your pain, hold it up to the light, look at it and then commit to changing, because you recognize that the pain is hurting you.
2. Deal with it. Determine what the problem is and why you are holding on to past pains. Examine your wound and take a good hard look at it and yourself and then deal with the problem. Before you can get rid of haunting memories, you must come to terms with the origin of those memories. Suppression is not a solution, it is only a band-aid on the problem. Talking to someone about these memories can assist you in coming to terms with them. If that is too much for you to do, buy a journal and write it down. Writing can be very therapeutic.
3. Realize you have a choice. You cannot control the actions of others and who would want to? Dealing with ourselves is enough work. The good news is you can control not only your actions, but your thoughts. Your thoughts are the most important part of realizing you have a choice. You can stop reliving the hurt, and can choose to move on. You have this power. You just need to learn how to exercise it. Thoughts become actions and actions become reality, so be careful and kind with yourself and those wicked thoughts that can creep up.
“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” ~Havelock Ellis
4. Try to Empathize in order to forgive. Try this: put yourself in that person’s shoes. Maybe that person isn’t a bad person, but just did something wrong. Forgiveness transforms the mind’s functioning allowing us let go of bitterness, grudges, and resentments. Total forgiveness is not an easy feat when someone has hurt us. Even forgiving ourselves can be difficult. People who have completely forgiven all the people and situations in their lives have a much more joyful existence. They get sick less often, they hold no grudges or resentments toward people. Their interactions with others are much more pleasant and productive than they were before their forgiveness transformations.
5. Understand your responsibility. Realize what in life that harbors emotional issues that you are responsible for. Dwelling on what you could have done to prevent it, will not fix it. You already usually know the answer to this anyway, so own it and move on. I am not suggesting you take all the responsibility or any away from another person in the wrong, but to realize that we are not victims but participants in life is detrimental to healing. How we react to life determines our level of accomplishment in life. Those who blame others can life a stagnate life and achieve much less through the course of it.
6. Focus on the present with a keen eye on the future. It is important to live in the moment while still planning for the future. Studies have shown people who are too focused on the present do not achieve as much in life as future focused individuals. On the flip side it is very important to enjoy the current moments and take it all in at the current time. We have to learn how to appreciate what is happening in the now and make some positive memories from it while always having one eye on the future and trying to be a step ahead of life. They also eat well, exercise regularly, and are usually more successful.
7. Let the peace in and live it. Letting the peace of everyday life creep in is a wonderful experience. Take notice of all the beauty you used to take for granted and don’t allow anger to get the best of you. Peace comes from within so if you are searching outwardly you will never find it. Learn to meditate, appreciate nature, do yoga.. Take time every day to focus and silence your mind, even if just for a few minutes. Smile, genuinely care about others, and never, ever lose hope!
Once you believe in your greatness, your life will change.
xo ginny
